WHAT THE FYE LOOKS FOR IN WOMEN
The FYE does not ask for much.
She just must think the FYE is a smart, funny, and insightful blog and share a love of pictorial representations of data. If she likes Star Wars too, that is a HUGE plus. Message me. We’ll meet in a free wifi area. We will maximize our utility together.
The FYE showed this diagram to his cousin and she said, “Huh…seems like that would be a man.” Whatever, the FYE will find her. Thats why the FYE is on the internetz.
AMAZING N. KOREAN MASS GAMES
DRONES: SHOUT OUT TO THE FYE’S HOMIE BANKSY
Obama talks about his super fun drone program through Google Hangout. What are drones? They are unmanned planes, which may be equipped with cameras or weapons to take out targets. The Reaper, featured above, requires only one pilot and one sensor operator who fly remotely. Drones keep our pilots out of harms way, and that saves lives (not to mention huge monetary savings from not having to retrain and replace fallen pilots). There is a theory the more personal and closer proximity the contact, individuals are more unwilling to kill. The more remote, the easier killing becomes.
EXPANDING THE DRONE PROGRAM
The FYE has been abroad for quite a while and was surprised to learn how many public entities in the US now own drones: currently 63 in all, 19 of which are universities. But of course the vast majority are non-lethal flying cameras. Universities with drones like UCONN, Kansas State, Ohio State, U of Florida, and Texas A&M to name a few, are not bringing swift, effective, unmanned freedom to their students through drones. Some drones may even be capable of facial recognition. Below are all 63 licensed and active drone sites.
63 ACTIVE DRONE SITES IN 20 STATES
HOT CHICKS OF OCCUPY WALL STREET
Totally the FYE’s type: cute girls who want to save the world. The FYE is always looking for love at OWS, throwing his best pick-up lines like “whats the wifi password?” or “my demand for you is inelastic”. But last time the FYE went to an OWS event on May Day, the FYE was about to catch a flight to LA, and was walking around in a suit jacket with a collared shirt and a slick rolling bag. A friend of the FYE said, “Way to dress like an executive on May Day. Ass.”
GREECE: WORLD’S MOST SPOILED NATION RIOTS, AGAIN.
The FYE’s brother said the other day, “I’m so sick of hearing about Greece.” The most spoiled country in the world is throwing a hissy fit, again. It’s just austerity- in the form of lay-offs, wage reduction, increased working hours (if you still have a job), and decreased bargaining rights (no social programs)- which in turn lead to garbage, transportation, and electricity workers striking. So now Greeks sit at home, in the dark, with lots of smelly trash around them. And 40% of the youth are unemployed, so they have a healthy amount of rascals to walk down to the parliament and start a ruckus. What brats.
S. KOREAN MONKS FACING BACKLASH FOR ANTICS
Religion has always been used as way to control people, maintain empires, and most importantly, get that cheddar. From the Roman Empire to the religious right, it has proven an effective method to get people to believe what you want, and vote the way you want if leveraged properly.
The FYE’s favorite example of this is Pope Alexander the VI of 1492. The notoriously powerful, ruthless 15th century Italian family got their start with Pope Alexander, Rodrigo Borjia, and he was the thievingest, rapingest, poisoningest Borjia of the lot. “Thanks to being the nephew of Pope Calixtus III, he zoomed up the Church ranks and, in 1492, was elected Pope – a decision that had less to do with Borjia’s Godly bearing and more to do with the fact he bribed his rivals out of the race with four mule-loads of silver.
From this seat of power, he had several bastard children, imprisoned and murdered a number of wealthy families (stealing their money and land in the process), ordered instant execution for anyone opposing the Borjia family and generally behaved like a massive prick. The only good thing to come from his reign was his own agonizing death, during which his bowels liquefied and his skin peeled off thanks to – yes, you guessed it – accidentally drinking his own poisoned wine.” (apoliticus.com)
Word.
The FYE practices religion at home too. Its very effective with the FYE’s children.
“Eat your carrots or the God will smite you down and then you will burn in everlasting hellfire.”
“Junior, you can’t jump on the bed because…its against our religion.”
“Every time you argue with me, God kills a kitten. And a Disney character, starting with your favorites.”
Its far more effective than the behavioral conditioning the FYE put his child through. The FYE does not approve of FYE Junior drinking soda, so the FYE will give Junior a sip of Cocacola, then slap him in the face. Repeat steps 1 and 2 for eight hours. But fear of eternal hellfire and being poked by demons with pitchforks is more effective, less time consuming, and most importantly, took less thought. If an argument is unconvincing, tag on another sin or threat that lasts eternity.
RECENT HOUSE REPUBLICAN PROPOSED CUTS: HITTING KIDS WHERE IT HURTS, THEIR WALLETS.
Sorry little orphan Johnny, it turns out you won’t be getting a family for Christmas, or nutrition, or child protective services. The US needs to make painful fiscal cuts- Democrats want to tax the rich and lower military spending. Republicans want to decrease taxes and take away as many social programs as possible. The FYE tries to stray away from partisan politics, but these republican proposed cuts are evil, and this infographic reveals the priorities of many leading Republicans do not lie with the nation’s children. Being poor, especially a poor child, and voting republican is like being a cow and voting pro-leather.
By the way, low-effort thought leads to conservative political ideology. The study found, when people get drunk, (and become temporarily more stupid), people’s political beliefs tend to be more right leaning. Drunk thinking takes less time, effort, and results in less awareness. Thats why more people say “I love you” when they are drunk. Further from the LSE a study found higher IQ is linked to liberalsim and (GASP) atheism. “Data from the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health support Kanazawa’s hypothesis. Young adults who subjectively identify themselves as “very liberal” have an average IQ of 106 during adolescence while those who identify themselves as “very conservative” have an average IQ of 95 during adolescence, Kanazawa says.”
BREAK UPS: JUST BEFORE SPRING BREAK AND CHRISTMAS PEAK TIMES TO SAY, “ITS NOT YOU, ITS ME.”
The FYE doesn’t understand why anyone would ever advertise their relationship status online. Chances are extremely high your relationship will not last, and then facebook trivializes your heartbreak with a little broken cartoon heart icon, and blasts that to every acquaintance’s newsfeed. So lame. The FYE has never been broken up with…well…once but, she went totally crazy and it was an anomaly. Nonetheless, the FYE was shocked to see how his break-ups synced up with the major peak break-up times.
“I’m going to Cancun for spring break. I think we should take a break.”
“I didn’t get you anything for Christmas because I’m breaking up with you.”
“Hey what are you doing after the summer? Do you think we should see other people?”
“I hate Mondays…and you too. Lets break up.”
However, thinking as an optimizer, strategize to attain that rebound poontang on Christmas day, Spring Break (duh), and just like in Grease, after those Summer Nights come to a close.
MINIATURE EARTH: YOU THINK YOU ARE THE 99%?
The FYE has been working outside the US for the past few years, and only recently got to experience and partake in the May Day Occupy Wall Street movement in NYC. The FYE was not impressed. Don’t get the FYE wrong, the FYE has been talking about Pen’s Parade for quite a while now and has been touting off about inequality in the US before it was cool. Yes it is completely absurd that 10% of the US population controls over 90% of US wealth. But the vast majority of individuals of Occupy Wall Street are among the 5% richest in the world. The inequality among 300 million americans is bad. The inequality among the 7 billion of humanity is worse.
Imagine if you were one of the vast majority of humans who earn only a few dollars a day and works 7 days a week. You visit Union Square to observe OWS. It would seem ridiculous that the young global elite in the wealthiest county in the world are protesting and screaming at the super global elite…for equality. And then an OWS protester posts a picture of the protest on facebook, through a device that costs more than your yearly salary. Another OWS protestor complains about their college debt which is more money than you will ever earn in two lifetimes, (the average Bangladeshi will earn US$35,000 in an entire lifetime) And you recognize the Uniqlo jeans you sewed in your sweatshop back home. You always imagined what kind of super wealthy people wear these high quality expensive clothes, who on earth can afford them? Isn’t it weird to think that 30,000 people at your garments factory worked on one order of 3000 pairs? That it takes 30,000 people toiling so that 3000 people (thats 10% ) can wear that pair of jeans?
Maybe the US economy is not just slowing down just because of the banks. Perhaps, there is a global shift, or an equalizing. Globalization, meaning easier access to information, people, workers, etc around the world is making the world more fair. There are people in India who are willing to make a website for a hundred dollars. In the US and europe, coders feel entitled to more money for the exact same job. You can argue, “well, the cost of living is cheaper.” In reality, its not cheaper, the Indian coder’s life just sucks a lot more. Its cheaper because they get a lot less. Yes, living in america would be cheaper if we gave up clean drinking water from the tap, sanitation, plumbing, good hospitals, equipped police and fire departments, clean air, free education etc.
According to the World Bank, the economies of the developed world are growing at an average rate of 7% a year, meaning they will double every 10 years. Soon, the developed world’s (poor countries) economies will be larger than the rich world’s economy.
THE LOTTERY OF BIRTH
An Economics professor in college once told the young FYE that being born in America and into an environment that allowed us to attend a top US university was akin to winning the lottery. The FYE is short, brown, Muslim, and relatively scrawny. The FYE did not feel like a birth lottery winner back then.
From Rawls Theory of Justice: the ‘veil of ignorance’. In this model, imagine you were a prenatal baby. You do not know where you are going to be born, at what socioeconomic status, race, gender, creed, and most importantly, nationality. All you know is that you are a human being, and will be born soon. Now, as a pre-natal baby in this model you have control over how ‘equality’ is governed in society. Would you try to maximise the minimum, ie. redistribute income so that the poorest of society can live better off, hedging against you drawing a bad hand and being born into a poor family, or would you take a gamble, and allow the rich to be as rich as possible, and the poor be poor, and hope you end up in a rich family? This is a question of liberty, justice, and equality.
If an adult is poor today, why is he or she poor? Well, they didn’t go to college. Why didn’t they go to college? They did not have enough money to invest, and no one from their family went to college before. Why did they not get a scholarship for college then? They did not get a scholarship because the school system of their poor community is low quality and overcrowded. Why do they live in a poor school district? Because his parents were poor so they had to rent in a poor neighborhood. These are the questions, that need to be asked. People are not born poor, they grow up in an environment that most likely leads to them being poor. Similarly, criminals are not born criminals. Unless they are born gay, according to some people.
BABY HERMAN: BORN CRIMINAL
WELCOME TO AMERICA, HOME TO 5% OF THE WORLD’S POPULATION AND 25% OF THE WORLD’S PRISON POPULATION
PIC is a term used to attribute the rapid expansion of the US inmate population to the political influence of private prison companies and businesses that supply goods and services to government prison agencies. Since the 1980s, our prison population rate has quadrupled. Have americans gotten that much more criminal, or is it our criminal justice system? Who makes money from people being incarcerated? Corporations that contract prison labor, construction companies, surveillance technology vendors, lawyers, and all of their respective lobbyists. Who pays for this? You, the tax payer.
The incentives are all wrong. Prisons are not incentivized to rehabilitate and punish, but rather, are purely profit motivated. Further, elected officials want to be appear ‘tough on crime’. Federal prosecutors, not defenders, become judges and elected officials more often, as no one wants to vote for the guy defending the crack dealer or the clinically insane bank robber. They want to vote for the prosecutor who worked hard to put the ‘bad guy’ away in a cage for as long as our legal system will allow. The prosecutor knows very well that sending the crack dealer to jail won’t rehabilitate him, and chances are high of recidivism (53% for arrested males, and 39% of arrested females will be re-incarcerated). If anything, he or she comes out of jail in a worse situation he was in before, and will probably sell crack again a.) because thats the only business he knows, and b.) he is still addicted c.) they go back to the same environment they were in before which promotes illegal behavior and d.) state criminal policies will not have changed.
INMATES PAID $0.19 AN HOUR. PENALTY FOR REFUSAL: SOLITARY CONFINEMENT, LOSS OF PAROLE, LOSS OF PROGRAMS.
AL JAZEERA ENGLISH FORCED OUT OF CHINA
China, China, China…tsk tsk. Read AJE’s article on themselves.
GLOBAL AGE DISTRIBUTION SHIFT
Age distribution is a good indicator of a country’s support burden, ie. taking care of grandma and grandpa. Age and sex distribution until relatively recently in human history took a pyramid shape, with lots of babies at the base, and steady drop out towards old age. Due to increased education worldwide on sanitation, maternal health, and water, birth rates have improved, and people are living longer. Inevitably, most countries will form a chode shaped graph.
The first figure shows the US currently in a stage between the chode and pyramid, but mostly and soon to be a clear chode. More developed countries are already there. But this story is really about the developing nations, who have gargantuan populations. You can see today the developed world is still forms a pyramid with relative little support burden at the top. But looking at projections into the near future, less than half a generation away (meaning our lifetimes), we see a major shift in age distribution in both poor and rich developing nations, such as Bangladesh and China graphs. The issue is we will have a smaller ratio of working age population supporting our elderly & youth. And in the elderly’s case, keeping people alive (elderly healthcare) is very expensive. Although we are in different stages of this shift now, very soon, this will become a universally global issue.
But the FYE also believes there will be a major counterforce, with increased mass consumer wealth, also introduces high value foods, such as processed meats, fast food, fried goods, and worst of all, MORE SODA. Think about the boom of the snack food industry in the US. Product diversity shot through the roof. And every year the US exports more deadly snack foods. There are local and regional snacks which are also increasing sales, making weird asian tastes like “Dried Shrimp snicker-doodles”, or ” Masala Lychee Chips, baked”, a USA Pringles can is still top shelf. In developing countries, on can sells for what a local earns in a day. Endemic obesity and diabetes, currently on the rise in the asian tiger nations (fat cats), will also be a global issue.
WHAT IF HE WERE MUSLIM?
Thanks Colin. The FYE was just chuffed to bits that someone of status, of the most talked about leadership campaign in world history, finally said it.
JEFFREY OR MUHAMMED SACHS!?IS THE WORLD RENOWN DEVELOPMENTAL ECONOMIST A SECRET MUSLIM? DESTROYING THE JUDEO-CHRISTIAN WESTERN WORLD FROM THE INSIDE THROUGH…..RUINING POOR COUNTRIES’ ECONOMIES?
DISCLAIMER:Do not forward this post to Fox News, they will take it seriously.
MUHAMMED CLINTON
MUHAMMED PROFESSOR QUERRILL, HOGWARTS
MUHAMMED JACKSON… EEK, THIS MAY HAVE BEEN TRUE. I GUESS WE LOST A BROTHER THERE.
Someone was introducing the FYE at a conference and began by describing my roots stating, “The FYE was born in the US, BUT to a Muslim family. “BUT”. The FYE was visiting his parents in Connecticut recently and he saw a “Wheres the Birth Certificate?” bumper sticker. So retro. Or revival? Really, bringing that up again?
HAPPY 420 #hash
You don’t have to be an Economist to understand these figures. If you are worried about negative societal effects, well, enough people (and former/current presidents) have toked on the stuff, and will continue to do so. The FYE knows the US fastfood and snack foods industry is by far a, more expensive killer. The US currently has 60% obesity, its abnormal to be healthy.
And don’t get the FYE started on Alcohol as a major killer/bane on society.
