BREAK UPS: JUST BEFORE SPRING BREAK AND CHRISTMAS, PEAK TIMES TO SAY, “ITS NOT YOU, ITS ME.”
The FYE doesn’t understand why anyone would ever advertise their relationship status online. Chances are extremely high your relationship will not last, and then facebook trivializes your heartbreak with a little broken cartoon heart icon, and blasts that to every acquaintance’s newsfeed. So lame. The FYE has never been broken up with…well…once but, she went totally crazy and it was an anomaly. Nonetheless, the FYE was shocked to see how his break-ups synced up with the major peak break-up times.
“I’m going to Cancun for spring break. I think we should take a break.”
“I didn’t get you anything for Christmas because I’m breaking up with you.”
“Hey what are you doing after the summer? Do you think we should see other people?”
“I hate Mondays…and you too. Lets break up.”
However, thinking as an optimizer, strategize to attain that rebound poontang on Christmas day, Spring Break (duh), and just like in Grease, after those Summer Nights come to a close.
